March 17th 2007
SCHAUDENFRAUD?
Whilst trying to get to grips with the technological advances in golf clubs and golfing equipment, keeping abreast of the changes in rules and regulations , and trying to negotiate preferential borrowing rates to accommodate ( and possibly take advantage of) both , I came across a story which made me smile.
With so much money being spent on research and development, one would imagine that several vital points would be covered before committing millions of dollars to launching a new product. Especially when subsequent testing may prove that the equipment falls foul of the latest rules which come into effect in 2008.
Ok I did say may prove, but when the biggest sporting company in the world , who furnish the best golfer on the planet with their equipment launched its new, square headed “sumo” driver ( it resembles a polo mallet, or even an assegai….look it up ! ), you might have thought that nothing would be left to chance.
I wrote last year about the COR ( co-efficiency of restitution) factor which the new regulations seek to harness. This is the “springability” off the clubface which the new technologies enhance, and propel the ball extra, massive , distances. Well it appears that “an un-authorised manufacturing variance occurred such that the Characteristic Time (CT) measurement “ of a number of drivers fell out of the company’s approved engineering specifications. The ball only travels an extra 1-5 yards in testing, but the speed at which it comes off the clubface may contravene the new rules. Only a tiny number of drivers are affected, and the company have already launched a new “ sumo2 “ driver which does conform, but if you have already purchased one of the originals, best to have it checked out .
I have a vision of a highly charged boardroom meeting where this “anomaly” came to light, and a feeling of schaudenfraud as the person(s) responsible sweated before their directors. And I don’t know why. Possibly because my own driver, which I parted with hard earned cash for two years ago will now also be illegal in 2008. But then I should be angry with the administrators? Well that can’t be it, and it’s not because the club is an affront to any notion I have of aesthetics. Even the “mullet” haircut was laughed at when first it appeared, and now it is a design classic. There are still parts of the Island where it is de-rigeur with a heavy check shirt, wranglers and a pair of samba (no, not sumo) trainers if you want to create an impression. It may yet be a thing of beauty and I reserve the right to retrospectively catch up with “cool” as I have been doing for years.
Nope, it’s quite simply the notion (albeit it looks like it will be avoided) of a very highly priced cock-up where something very basic may have been overlooked. Akin to N.A.S.A. spending millions of dollars on a pen with a pump to enable the ink to flow in zero gravity, whilst the Russians took a pencil to the stars.
Urban myth? Either way, many of us delight in the ability of others to do what we ( luckily ) have avoided doing , and afterwards breathed a huge sigh of relief when we realised that we would have done exactly the same thing., and been the subject of their mirth.
Non-golfers will possibly delight about the fact that we missed another Saturday’s play due to the weather. Even some club members may delight at the fact that some of us ventured to Scarista and got completely soaked. Doubtless some of you will smile at my notion of us talking about golf in the clubhouse (post golf) last Saturday, and the fact that we had to forsake, once again, the ( not so ) great outdoors for the comfort of the clubhouse, and the ignominy of watching Scotland lose to France at rugby. Schaudenfraud? I’d better not mention Wales or Falkirk.
I have no idea what I’m talking about.
Please let there be golf soon.
